Tribewanted: Vorovoro

[read this to the tune of Baz Luhrmann’s ‘Everybody’s free (to wear to sunscreen)]

Taukei and vulagi of the class of Vorovoro 2008, wear coconut oil.

If I could offer you one tip for the future, coconut oil would be it. The long term benefits of coconut oil have bee proved by Pupu and Leavi, whereas my advice has no basis more reliable than my own balding experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your island time, oh never mind, you’ll not understand the power and beauty of your island time until after your ‘isa lei.’ In 20 years time you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much cake lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are not as white and pasty as you think you are.

Don’t worry about tomorrow as worrying about tomorrow is about as effective as pounding kava with a tea spoon. The troubles on the island are actually things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindside you in ‘malau bus bilo’ at 4pm on an idle sevusevu Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Snorkel.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s coconuts, don’t put up with other people who are reckless with yours.

Sea bath.

Don’t waste your time on low tides; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind, the race is long and the tanoa deep. but in the end it’s only with the Malau bus.

Remember compliments you receive, forget Tale’s insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Dodo

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your island time. Some of the more interesting Tribe Members I know don’t know at 9am what they want to do. Some of the most interesting Tribe members I know still don’t know by afternoon tea.

Get plenty of hammock time. Be kind to your boat captains, you’ll miss them when they’ve gone.

Maybe you’ll drink grog, maybe not; maybe you’ll fall in love, maybe not; maybe you’ll collapse half way through Elaine’s power hour, maybe you’ll dance all 6 verses of the Meke on Vorovoro’s 3rd birthday.

Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either, your choices are half Fiji Time, so are everyone else’s.

Enjoy the island, use it ever which way you can, don’t be afraid of it or what other people think of it. It’s potentially the most beautiful place you’ll ever visit.

Meke.

Even if you have nowhere to do but in the comfort of your own Bure

Listen to Te’s directions, even if you can’t follow them.

Do not attempt to light a fire with help from a Fijian, it will only make you feel inadequate.

Get to know your Chief. You’ll miss him/her when they’re gone. Be nice to his wingman, he’s your best link to your grog and the person most likely to let you stretch your legs on the kava mat.

Understand that Tribe Members come and go, but that a precious few you should hold onto. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you will need the people you knew when you were part of the Tribe.

Live in Labasa once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Nakawaqa once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inaliable truths; coconuts will fall, mozzies will bite and you will one day leave, and when you do you will fantasize that when you were here, falling coconuts were safer, mozzies weren’t that bad and that Tribe Members respected their Chief.

Respect your Chief.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you’ll have a stash of Oreos, maybe a secret supply of Haribo, but you never know when ether one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you are 40 it will look like the current Tribewanted Project Director.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those that supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the coconut oil………………..