Tribewanted: Vorovoro

Calling out across the waves and reaching out through the atmosphere to the stars beyond… this is Tribewanted Gapper FM in association with the almighty Hammock Society.

And today, coming in live from the hammocks with an audience of hermit crabs, I have a special guest with me, a tribe favorite, say hello Sosi…

Bula everybody

Yes yes Sosi. Me and you are going have a little chat about this and that. Let’s start with something that’s close to both of our hearts – The Hammock Society. What does it mean to you?

It means my whole life. If there was no Hammock Society I would not be in Vorovoro. I would be dead by now. I am very happy to be Vice President.

You’re the best man for the job. Word on the coconut wireless is that a gym is gonna be built. Does it vex your soul when you see tribe members doing pull-ups, sit-ups and that sort of nonsense in this eden?

They’re crazy. They make themselves suffer. They should come to relax.

That’s right. Chill out, don’t workout. My spies tell me the exercise patch is to be called ‘The JIMnasium’ in an attempt to mock me. We shall see. Me and you Sosi, we’re both busy and don’t get much time in the blessed hammocks these days. What have you been up to recently?

Cleaning sh#t.

Let’s eleborate on this for the readers. I saw you pushing a wheelbarrow of something around with a scarf covering your face.

Yes. It was a stinky load of sh#t.

Where did it come from and why?

It comes from the compost toilets. I look after the sustainable side of the island with Ben the Sustainability Manager. The toilets were full so I emptied it into the wheelbarrow. Oh my god, the urine smelt the worst. I took the wheelbarrow down passed the volleyball court to the banana trees and spread it there. I hope the bananas don’t taste of sh#t.

Me too, cos I like to have ‘em with my porridge each morning. What did you have for breakfast today?

Fish curry and rice.

Whow, that sounds like dinner to me. Why is that?

It was last night’s dinner. We drank too much grog and no one wanted to eat dinner so we have it this morning.

Yeah, that was a mammoth grog session celebrating Liavi’s birthday. Sitting around outdoors under the milkyway, good times. He was lambchopped (drunk). I was lamb chopped. Were you lambchopped?

Yes. But I don’t like grog. The kava has to be pounded and this is no work for the Hammock Society. I prefer Fiji Bitter or Bounty Rum.

Liavi, also known as Crimestopper was 53. How old are you?

28

Must Fijian people are married by that age. Do you want to get married?

If I was married I wouldn’t be in Vorovoro. It’s good that I’m not married. I don’t want to get married yet. One day I will.

No rush eh? I feel the same. But enough of that, let’s bring it back to something that’s integral to this project. Recycling. I saw you messing about in the recycling bins the other day, what’s that all about? Surely you’re not drinking the dregs?

No. I was sorting out all the rubbish. It needs to be weighed and the amount collected so we can see how good we’re being.

According to Ben, our Sustainability Manager, not much can actually be recycled. The Coke plant recycles plastic coke bottles. The beer bottles get re-used. Everything else ends up on the landfill. The landfill is next to the river. When it rains the landfill flood and it ends up in the river. Recycling is a hard process in Fiji, why is that?

Recycling is new to us. We’re used to throwing everything away. Tribewanted teaches us about this and ways to be better.

Cool bananas. It seems rubbish, especially branded rubbish, is a status symbol in a developing country. In countries such as the UK, we are trying to cut back on plastic bags but here in Fiji you give them out like there’s no tomorrow. Do you find many plastic bags in our island bins?

Yes. Loads. I thought we were banning the plastic bag.

Hmmm, they useful in the wet season. And recently we have found a way to recycle them – we can turn them into pom-poms for cheerleading. We’re teaching cheerleading to All Saints Secondary School.

I want to learn cheerleading.

Are you winding me up Sosi?

No I want to learn. I like to learn everything from you people. You should teach all of Team Fiji cheerleading.

Consider it done. Cheerleading classes behind the Grand Bure next week. Sorted. You’ll be so exhausted you’ll want to go straight to bed.

Ahhh, bed. I like my new bed in the new bure. I would like to thank Chief Tom for buying all of Team Fiji some mattressses. Before I slept on the floor, now I sleep like a king. I want to sleep all the time. It feels like sleeping in heaven.

Any dreams?

Oh yeah. I always dream of girls. I dreamt I was hugging a girl and when I woke up I was hugging my pillow.

Does your pillow have a name?

No. I just call it pillow levu (big pillow).

For many tribe members, Vorovoro is a dream come true. Would you like to see it continue beyond 2009?

I hope so. I want it to go on but I don’t think about tomorrow, only think about today.

I like that way of looking at the world, living in the present moment. My culture is all about planning for the future, do this do that, buy this, buy crap. The UK is far richer in wealth and material but the population aren’t as happy as the people of Fiji who have far less. Why is that?

Because, in Fiji, even if you don’t work you can live for free. Food grows everywhere. The weather is hot. You people worry to much.

I concure. How has all the different people from all over the world coming to Vorovoro changed you?

I know more about their countries than before. The best thing about this job for me is getting to know them and share this experience. I like the new music people bring.

What your favorite band?

Maroon Five. I also like a little bit of reggae.

What about the Spice Girls?

Oh no. They are 0.5 music. Spice girls for spice boys. 0.5.

What is 0.5?

You’re not a man. You’re not a woman. You’re something inbetween.

Haha! Nice Sosi, nice. I notice you’ve been introduced to Mariokart on the portable nintendo games console…

Yes. I love Mariokart. I like to race with Luigi on Moo moo Farm. No one beats me on that course.

I’m gonna beat you on that course right after this interview.

Oh my god.

You’re gonna need divine intervention cos my kart skills are sharp like a mofo. So all you readers and visitors from around the world, bring your nintendo and mariokart for some Moo Moo Farm business alongside your talents, ideas, energy and laughter to Vorovoro. It’s the place to be. Any last words Sosi?

Chill out, don’t workout. Go Hammocks!

Sweet dreams everybody.