Tribewanted: Vorovoro

So the western world sit and compare how great there tv is. Whos is the largest? The better quality? Who spent the most? How loud it is? They are all wrong.

Vorovoro has the best ‘plasma’ screen and its frickin huge, and though there may be no furniture, it can seat many hundreds of people, and you can be as relaxed as you ever need to be.

Channel Vorovoro (Channel V) the next big tv show….

The best bit about Channel V – you are part of the programme, and you can pretty much watch what you want to watch.
As most people find when they arrive on Vorovoro, there need for tv, internet, or communication with the outside world suddenly becomes insignificant (other than the regular text of “mum, arrived safe, islands wicked. Ppl r cool. I get 5 meals a day!! Think i might stay longer. Tried grog last night. Tasted funny. Will b in touch. Love u…xxx”)

Some find it a shock, but times a great healer, particularly, Fiji time….

Take one tribe members quote about it all,

“Never have i been some far away from my family, yet felt so at home on Vorovoro….”

And thats it – youre absorbed into this living, breathing, community. Its new to you and it feels funny. A hub of activity, warmth and friendship.
Its a 24/7 lifestyle channel and you are it. Yeah its emotional. It sucks you in, turns you round and at some point, chucks you back out again, but for now, soap operas (!?), late night specials, omnibuses, repeats, and ‘panel judged’ competitions seem insignificant and far, far away (unless as ive been told, the ‘Vorovoro Hula Hoop’ competition…jim “high waist band simon cowell” kerridge….). you begin to forget about tv.

The only remote you need is the remoteness of Vorovoro. You control the volume, the brightness the contrast and everything else that you don’t really know what the buttons are for….

Its got everything you need.

There are no defined schedules, but look out for Sunrise ( Headland or peak 1, maybe 2, or 3…up to you. Features renewed energy and warmth, and growing soundtrack of island life), or Waking up to the sounds of chickens (Best viewed from bed, or maybe the beachside hammock. Catch the end of the Sunrise), Cookery with Va and Francis., Work, ...then for the afternoon its up to you…3D interactive snorkel with sharks and coral wildlife. Coast to Coast? Peak Challenge? Cultural learning with Save? Story Telling with Epeli? Or ‘Changing Rooms Handy Andy’ Marau? Or Ground Force with Leavi? Or sports with everyone?

Look out for ‘Sunset (sponsored by Fiji Gold)’, then Music Live! Meke, Grog & Comedy with “The Api, Jonny R and Marau show”
10pm/12pm/1am/3am – sleep…....

And if you are lucky enough, then from the original breakfast table, you might see the ‘vanishing horison’ thing, where sky and ocean become one. Most amazing. And thats my favourite scene and its the largest. Thoughts of being in ‘The Truman Show’ are frequent. (see bottom). Island Life has its moments.

And hey, its not always about the size, so if you want to watch something smaller – then go for it – go find your new Channel V. Go watch the chickens, or the pigs – do the things you don’t get chance to do at home. Pigs can be very entertaining.

People watch from the rock up above the Vale! Very rarely will you get spotted, but its a great place to spend some time. Explore the island, get out of the village – don’t be scared!

Another personal favourite is listening to Nakawaga on Sunday. Position yourself on Peak 4 early in the morning (just after sunrise), and listen and watch the village grow into life. Chickens, kids, boats, lali, church, choirs….and then grog pounding…..best soundtrack youll probably hear for a while…

You don’t want or need to Skyplus every moment, thats why people have minds and memories and imagination – keep it for yourself. Where else would you be happier with a ‘viewing figure’ of 1!

Attenborough bringing ‘animal life’ into your living room. Cheers ‘Atters’! You may have won the Paradise or Bust ratings war, but ill stick with the Cakalevu Reef (thacka-lay-vu) if you don’t mind and go hang out with my white tip reef sharks friends when i want to…...its more personal. Oh, and theres the stingray, the turtles, the whales, parrot fish, trigger fish, barracuda, the dolphins – sometimes the annoying ‘sucker fish’ are kinda nice….

Channel V has a comedy channel, its got wildlife, its got music (live!), cookery, weather, history, and ‘round the back’….its got something for the adults., but forget that one. Its got sport too, Adventure, Discovery, and imagination…..the best bit about it all. Its real life. Its never a repeat. (unless its a joke by me)

The only downside to ‘Channel V’?? i just wish Tevita had frickin subtitles during his speeches…..

Vorovoro is as ‘interactive’ as it gets, so go shove your 52” plasma …..

The Vorovoro Truman show
so maybe its too much ‘on island’ time, or maybe its just true, but standing on the beach looking at the horizon you cant help but think that sometimes you are on the set of the Truman Show.

Will you reach the ‘end of the horizon’ with a thud? Maybe. Maybe Vorovoro is a show. Maybe the island is already littered with microphones, webcams, and the fruit bats are really mobile satellites, transmitting the data back to base…..and the Rats are the production crews runners, and maybe the 6” slugs are the researchers into island life….maybe the last laugh is on us.

Maybe Tui Mali isn’t really Tui Mali…..a fraudster perhaps….so on 31st August 2009 Tribewanted comes to its end…..and i guess we all find out what ‘might’ have been taking place for the preceeding 3 years….so who do you think is underneath that ‘giggly cheeky mask’ of Mr Tui…...

Place your bets please…..
1000/1 Mark Bowness
1000/1 Nadia from Big Brother
500/1 Noel Edmonds
500/1 Chris Tarrant
250/1 Gangster guys from Scooby Doo
100/1 Jeremy beadle (cant believe everything you read in the papers)
12/1 Mr Jem Report himself
8/1 Elvis
5/1 Hannibal from A Team….

...of course none of this is true, but funny if it was…
(my moneys on Elvis….)