Tribewanted: Vorovoro

“i dont normally do public squeaking as i tend to piss pronounciate my worms” David Brent, The Office

So seeing as the term/noun (i never did pay much attention in English class) or verb/adjective (whatever it is) ‘lambchop’, or ‘to be lambchopped’ is being included in The Fiji National Dictionary as from 2009, i feel i better clear up as to how this term was derived, and why it is so common on Vorovoro….i do feel partly responsible for its ‘existence’. ok – fully respsonsible.

Early November 2007, and the tribe only had 3 more visits left at Mali District School, before they broke for ‘summer break’, and then i would then return to England, so i needed to make sure the kids would remember me somehow. Id seen how Craig always ‘worked the crowd’, with his
“Bula Sia everyone….”
“bula” was the muted respsonse
“i cant hear anyone, i said ‘BULA SIA’”
“BULA SIA CRAIG”
”...thats better….”

so how hard can it be to raise a few smiles and laughs in a classroom of 80 kids and a handful of teachers..and a ‘more than a handful of tribe members…’? easy, eh?

As it turns out – its quite hard!

The preceeding night, i heard Tevita say something round the tanoa that i had never really picked up on before. “Yaqona soko. Au sa mateni”

After 14 months in Fiji i guess i should have learnt more fijian than i actually knew, so in my desperation to ‘learn’ (education, education, education – thanks tony!!) I asked him what it meant, and together we repeated it and repeated it together until i got it right.

Though i swear i got it right earlier and he kept changing his pronounciation. i wrote it down phonetically, so id remember it at a later date - ie, the next morning at Mali school. I sought clearance from Tevita that the 'quote' would be suitable for an audience with an average age of 12......i got the green light. great. i relaxed into the rest of the night and a few more tanoas, knowing i had my 'material' prepared for the next day. at least it was new material as i knew Craig (the peter kay of vorovoro) would repeat the same joke time after time......after a while you get used to it, but it still makes everyone laugh.

i positioned myself at the end of the line of visiting kaivalagi, just like every visit to the school.

Duncan ‘Green Club Guru’ Glendinning led, and then introductions made there way down the line.
Craig didnt fail to deliver as “BULA SIA CRAIG!!!!” reverred round the small acoustic classroom….
few more, then my turn….
i stood up ‘Io. Yadra Sia. Na Yacagu o Kimbo. Yaqona soko. Au sa Mateni…..’‘

the silence spoke volumes…

i mumbled to Jale “Tough crowd…”...and sat down.

Friday night on Vorovoro i told Tevita what i had said, though he wasnt silent. the night air was filled with hysterical, high pitched fijian laughter…from a few more mouths once he had told Leavi and Api and the rest of the gang what i had said.
He leant forward and whispered, “kimbo, you said, ‘The grog is strong. Im Lambchop….”...and he laughed again.

we spent the next few minutes focusing on where i went wrong, turns out rather than saying ‘mat-en-ee’, it should have been more of a ‘may-ten-ee’...and so that was that. to the amusement of them all i had firmly left my mark on the fijian language and within the school compound. Guess i achieved what i set out to do, but not in the right way.

the phrase ‘lambchop’ is pretty much heard on Vorovoro most nights now, mainly from Marau the drunkard, but its also spread to Api’s village Naqai, and no doubt Mali and maybe Kia too! And thats it. firmly cemented into history! there is a limited edition “Yaqona Soko. Au Sa Lambchop” t-shirt in circulation aswell….dont know if it has remained on Vorovoro or not.

The following week the tribe and team fiji went to the school to perform meke. we followed the norm, though in a different, more accomodating classroom for the extra numbers.

The Green Club Guru led with an emotional thankyou speech to the school, and specifically the Green Club Members, and following the sale of there ‘home/school made’ Christmas Cards presented them with a collection of gardening tools that what excite Titchmarsh himself. Introductions continuued down the line.
Craig didnt fail to deliver as “BULA SIA CRAIG!!!!” reverred round the larger, yet more acoustic classroom….
then my turn….
i stood up ‘Io. Yadra Sia. Na Yacagu o Kimbo.’’ i sat down.stick with what you know.

There were new faces in the room, so without any prompting they stood to introduce themselves, just like the old and new faces of the visiting tribe.
Tevita led team fiji, introducing himself as Tui Ra. Though this speech was different. It didnt have the passion filled speed or decibals of Tabua speeches. It was controlled, and delivered succintly. I took what i can only guess at, a very concise, ‘guardian’ like speech about the home and education…(turns out i was right!).

Epelli stood next and quietly and humbly, he too delivered his introduction to the school. i hoped it was delivered in a similar style to his affectionate pet name…..the style of Yoda. I think i was wrong in that hope, but im told he too gave a great speech in only the way that wise men like Pupu know how.

Leavi next. He was smiling, more than normal, and it got the tribes attention “Bula Sia. Na yacagu o Api, au sa Vorovoro Crimestopper…....” the tribe and the classroom floor of children laughed. im not totally sure what he said next, but he glanced in my direction, and in the sentances that followed i picked out two key words. One sounded like ‘mat-en-ee’, the other ‘may-ten-ee’. 80 school children, team fiji, and the more ‘fiji lingual tribbies’ started to laugh. and laugh loud. the smile on his face said it all. id been upstaged!

it didnt matter. Together we nailed the meke, and returned the following week to perform at the Mali Graduation Day. (for footage of each check out facebook ‘Meke Appreciation Society’, and youtube.)

And 7 months later its nice to hear that ‘lambchop’ is still used on the island…......and i have since learnt how to correctly say “the grog is strong. im drunk”.