Tribewanted: Vorovoro

Since the day I left Vorovoro, parts of me have been left behind. The first part being the person I was before I arrived- scared of the world, in a way scared of myself. The second part being some of my heart. If I’m being honest, I wasn’t one to fully physically immerse myself in the project (sometimes regrettably) but I wish I could explain how emotionally engaged I was in the idea. Often, in my two weeks, I took the back seat and watched and sometimes just did my own thing. If I could explain how far away from my life this is I would. I never take a back seat; I never do my own thing. At least I never used to. Two weeks isn’t long-not long enough. But it was all I had.

Although I left some things behind. I have come away with more than I ever dreamed of. Memories, maturity, knowledge, love, friends, inspiration, motivation. A new sense of life. My course has a lot of gap year folk in it….who amusingly enough to me, kind of look down on two weeks in Fiji, as they all compete over who can prove had a better year than the rest. Who knows more, who gained more, who went to the most places. I laugh inside, and kind of keep it all to myself. I don’t really need to prove to them, I don’t have any reason to justify. So when they ask, I just say what I feel about Fiji-about Vorovoro, they all kind of shut up. Rosie, a mate from Uni, says it’s because I get this look on my face as if I’ve just disappeared into this other world, yet at the same time I look like I’m going to start the waterworks. It’s not sadness, its memories. I don’t ever wish to overshadow my mates experiences so I don’t try compete. But im content with what I have walked away with and in my own little world, I believe it can’t be beaten.

I have seen some of the most beautiful things on Vorovoro. Simple things- like Epeli’s laugh or Api’s smile. To the big things- Like Lolly and Stingers wedding blessing and Tui Malis face on the 1st year celebrations. Sunrise from a hammock. Stars from a peak. Sunset from the beach. A lunar eclipse from the fire.

“Community”. I often wonder what the meaning is. One meaning in the dictionary is “a group of men or women leading a common life according to a rule”. I guess it’s the closest thing to explaining Vorovoro. Living a “common life”. But I don’t think anybody can understand community without seeing it. I wish I could send everyone to Vorovoro but it’s not possible some people don’t like the risk/change. And some don’t have enough trust. But it would be nice to think everyone, at some point in life will get to experience community. I think myself lucky for experiencing it at 18. Before I hit the big bad world as my dad sometimes says.

I’ve left friends. I’ve left family. I’ve left home. Upset but no real problems. I leave Vorovoro and it feels like a part of me is missing, like ive made a big mistake. I think I once described it as “Vorovoro- a friend”. Its a home from home.Suddenly, as you are on the boat, and you see Vorovoro disappear in the horizon- your heart sinks. Sitting in the Labasa Terminal, usually where I would expect to get 101 different things running through my head- there was nothing. Emptiness. Boarding the plane- a kind of feeling rushes over me again as I for a nanosecond forget about it all and think about the plane that I might fly one day. But then im air borne and I get the final glimpse of Vorovoro on the way back to Nadi, and a smile rips over my face. It’s sad to leave and still is. My memories though will forever make me content.

Just now I think about Fiji time. As I had a quick glance at the clock and realise I have less than two days to hand in enough essays to fill a book. To be honest I couldn’t care less. For some reason, I was dragged from opening my Microsoft word to opening the tribe wanted page. Maybe it’s because that whether anybody reads it or not, I know they wont have something bad to say or something to ruin. I will just be left to think what I think. Or maybe it’s just because I needed to write this for myself without even knowing it. Everybody walks away from Vorovoro with different experiences, different opinions. We don’t judge each other on it. We just accept each other. Yet I have yet to meet or speak to anyone who has been to the island that doesn’t have trouble describing their experience. It is somewhat indescribable- like being speechless.

Sometimes I don’t know where I am going. I don’t even know where I am going with this. But I know where I want to be. Maybe that’s all that matters- having an end goal but letting everything leading up to it- just happen. Sometimes I wonder what the bank would do and what uni would say if I just booked a flight back to Nadi. I will go back to Vorovoro. How and when I don’t know. But it will happen. Everything between now and then doesn’t matter.

Vinaka Mark for the idea,
Vinaka Ben for making it happen,
Vinaka tribe xxx