Tribewanted: Vorovoro

On the ninth of July wind was a big issue for Jon, Jo, Dan, Ella, Jacqui, Michelle, Amy and Benjamin, and not only due to Jon’s numerous requests to pull his little finger. It was perhaps more to do with the fact that they were spending the night 12ft off the floor in a non protected contraption of wood otherwise known as the tree house. You’d think having eight people crammed into a 5×4 space would be cosy…….think again!

The night began with a movie session on the first floor, the laptop precariously balanced on Jo’s legs. Bendy Ben lived up to his name with one foot by his ear and the other serving as a comfortable pillow. After an impressive 32 minutes and 40 seconds various body parts had gone numb and were threatening with blue conviction to fall off. A fast retreat was swiftly led by the rather more cautious Jacqui due to the ominous creaking of the increasingly sagging floorboards.

The group eventually settled into Amy’s bure only to be greeted by what Amy calmly referred to as “her little friend”, aka a spider the size of a small child. The tree house gang watched in amazement as Bendy Ben rugby tackled the great beast, wrestling it to the floor, earning multiple man points whilst doing so.

The film was continued but to cries of dismay was cut short by ten minutes when the lap top battery decided it had finally had enough. The night was deemed not as successful as first hoped and the 6 remaining members of the gang headed back to the tree house for a romantic night under the stars.

It was not to be. The night was spent in significant amounts of pain as the group, unable to sleep or move for fear of falling, were hammered by the relentless wind and cold. It didn’t take long for Jon, Dan and Jo on the pent house level to realize that the inventive protective bug contraption they had spent many hours arduously creating was floored – literally. The mosquitoes and god knows what else were merrily making their way through the holes in the floor boards below to feast on the helpless victims at will.

Characteristically Jon had arrived to the event in only a fashionable cardigan and shorts quickly realizing his mistake as what can be described as one of the coldest night on Vorovoro ensued. The gang clung to each other for support and bodily warmth, spending the night shivering in fitful sleep. Dan awoke having lost all sensation in his feet with the sloped ‘bed’ directing all blood to his head.

The night on the first floor looked no more successful. Michelle, Jacqui and Ella, packed like a tin of sardines, spent the night loosely falling in and out of sleep. At 2am the group found themselves ‘man down’ as Michelle abruptly sat up and announced she had simply had enough of this ridiculous facade.

The morning was no more cheerful as sun rise approached each of the gang secretly blamed the other members for a variety of sins ranging from cover stealing, to actually coming up with the idiotic idea in the first place.

Anyone up for the pontoon tomorrow night?