Tribewanted: Vorovoro

Current mood: mellow

So, how are the New Year’s resolutions going ? Given up smoking ? Cut down on the drinking ? Running a marathon every week ? Saved the planet yet ? Ah well, the year ain’t over so don’t be too despondent.

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I only made one, same as last year – to do whatever I want to do. It’s going alright so far. The most difficult bit is having to do some of the things I don’t want to do as well. I neglected to tack "and nothing else" on the end the resolution, which was a bit dumb since I made the same mistake last year and should have learnt from it.. As a result I had to drag my tired fat arse into work this morning even though I REALLY didn’t want to. It ended up being a half decent day though, and I’d impressed myself by even getting there in the first place, so I’m going to leave the "and nothing else" bit off for a while and see how it goes.



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One thing I do try and do each year is to take the fat arse by the horns (so to speak) and do a bit of a detox. "Try" is about right – last time I did it was 3 years ago and it went pretty well. I was only going to do ten days but ended up doing 21. No alcohol, no tea (except green), coffee, fizzy drinks, dairy, sweets or sugar – ended up losing 191b’s. Anyway, I think I’ve put all those 191b’s back on now (plus another couple) so The Great 2007 Detox (or Losing The Lard) semi-started on Saturday with the no alcohol bit kicking in, and got into third gear yesterday – still need a couple more days to wean myself off the morning Starbucks. The only vice I don’t try giving up is ciggies. During the last detox the otherwise general healthy stuff seemed to curb the need for nicotine anyway, which was a bit weird, and my daily intake dropped from about 30 a day down to single figures. <o:p></o:p>

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So here I sit typing away with my super-antioxidant blueberries and green tea on the side, fridge stocked with fresh fruit and vegetables, omega-3 rich fish and fat-free stomach-friendly bacteria-filled yoghurts, and pints of Stella and Scrumpy replaced with pints of water. Been pissing a lot the last few days. Nice colour though – got one of those Healthy Piss Colour Matching Charts to check it with. If you haven’t got one of your own then just use the general rule that if your piss looks weaker than your tea you’re probably OK. If it looks like distilled Lucozade then go drink something. Not Lucozade though – things just get into a vicious piss circle and you end up exploding in a manic sugar-fuelled meltdown.<o:p></o:p>

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So, JW’s detox starting weght is 14 stone 5 1b’s, which is the perfect weight for someone about 7ft 6 but a bit lardy for me apparently. Growing 18 inches is fairly near the top of the Difficult Things To Do list so looks like I’m stuck with the detox for now until I pass Minor Miracles Proficiency Part II, and that ain’t til September.