Einstein's Theory Of Fat People
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Phew !!! Was it windy yesterday or what ? At least the train companies had a half decent excuse this time – having a whole tree on the line is a bit more believable as a reason for delays than a couple of leaves, or the wrong type of snow. Took three and half hours to get home, having walked from Tower Hill to London Bridge (shut), then to Waterloo (nothing happening there), and back across the river to Victoria where I finally got on a train half an hour later. After all that exercise I’d dropped another 3 pounds since last weigh-in, so am now down to 13 st 8 lb. For anyone who doesn’t do good old imperial weights and measures that’s 86 kg. And for those of you who are diggin’ the stats the BMI is down from 27.52 to 26.02 !! I’m still 182 cm tall – and for those of you who don’t do metric that’s 5 feet 11 and three quarter inches.
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">According to the health guru’s a detox process will result in one having much more energy. This is, of course, utter bollocks. Using Einstein’s mass-energy equivalence equation from his special theory of relativity:
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"> E = mc2
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">then 13 days ago my energy at rest was
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">91.17 x 299792458×299792458 = 8.19414×1018 joules
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">whereas now it is
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">86.18 x 299792458×299792458 = 7.7457×1018 joules
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">giving rise to the Fat Slob Paradox – the fatter you are the more energy you’ve got. And explains why the atomic bomb dropped on Nagasaki was called "Fat Boy". Bags of energy in that one.
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">So, Jade – that minging slob from Big Brother – is the equivalent of about 100,000 Nagasaki-sized nuclear bombs, or 2.1 million kilotons of TNT. Which brings me on to a little exercise in going from the ridiculous to the sublime with Six Degrees Of Separation, starting with …..
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Jade (minging slob, in case you’ve forgotten) did a fitness video, as did Carol Vorderman, who wrote about detox diets and was on Countdown, as was Richard Whitely, who was fat but is now dead, as is Bhudda, who is viewed as both a god and a man, a bit like Montgomery Royale, who was the leading character in "The Man Who Played God", but didn’t play craps with him because "God does not play dice", which is a quote by Einstein, who is regarded by many as the greatest physicist of all time.
Anyway, it’s getting late, so I’m off to surf some porn. Catch y’all later !!!</font><o:p></o:p>





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