My new role... being Dylan's mummy
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Bula sia,
As many of you know our lovely little son, Dylan, was born 1st Nov 2008. As we all do when we are preparing to bring a new life into this world, I had tried to plan for our life beyond his arrival and prepare for the ways in which it would change (I’ve since learnt this is impossible to do, hehe!).
My thinking went along the lines of trying to be some kind of ‘modern day super mum’, being the best mummy, partner and worker I could be. We arrived back home, to Fiji from NZ, when Dylan was two weeks old, Shane and I both went back to our full time jobs while trying to manage all that becoming parents requires. Living on a island without family, close friends or any option of daycare, I kept thinking that all it required was better time management and more energy but you only have so much right, we were managing while ignoring a ‘nagging’ feeling growing within me.
Then I had a moment of clarity, the type where you are fortunate enough to know in the instant that it is going to shake things up a little.
....
It was raining heavy outside, I took Dylan out onto our decking, I wanted him to sense the rain, we listened and watched it for a while, it seemed to have a very calming effect on him. I noticed a droplet that was running off a leaf and on to the floor near us, I took his hand and placed it under the drip, I wanted him to touch the rain. As it landed on his hand, I could see he was slightly unsure, his eyes glanced up at me waiting for reassurance, wondering how he should respond. I flashed him a smile and in return received a smile that light up his whole face.
....
I realised I didn’t need to be the ‘super mum’, I just need to be the best mummy I can be, Dylan needs me, right now, to be fully focused and energised to assist and guide him as he explores the world he has entered.
I have put so much into my role at Tribewanted, mainly because it deserves it and I enjoyed doing so. But right now it deserves more energy then I can give and my son deserves all that I have for him, as he starts his own journey in life. I needed to follow my instincts, simplify and refocus my life.
I am very grateful for Tribewanted and all it has taught me thus far. Amongst many things I have learnt to stop and appreciate the rain, we can miss so many natural miracles when running our busy lives, secondly I have learnt to follow and trust my instincts, I generally wish I had if I dont do so.
This is probably a long winded way to tell you all I am leaving my current role with Tribewanted, but I feel in the nearly 3 years I have been working for this project, you (members and Fijians) have all become my extended family, working together to reach a shared goal. I feel as I sit here with my coffee in hand and write this, I am talking to friends in your many destinations. I plan to finish the end of Feb and Ben is currently in Fiji ‘recruiting for someone to fill my tribal boots’ his words ;-)
Of course I wont simply be disappearing all together and will still be a part of this project, it has too much to offer and means so much to me! I can see how far we have come already and the vision and future of Tribewanted continues to excite me!
Vinaka vaka levu to you all,
SJ
Comments
Sara Jane – I am very sad that you’re moving on. You’ve been a most loyal member, servant and leader of this young tribe and I will be forever grateful. Happy days with little Dylan – can’t wait to see you both on Vorovoro. x
au sa vaka vinavinaka, SJ – for YOU! from my first visit and the many since then, you have been an amazing constant in the project…and i know you will continue to play an important part even in a new role. and i know dylan will one day realize how lucky he is to have you!! xx
wow. shame to hear this news, tho reasons for it are acceptable (just about!) – but glad to hear dylan is learning the value of rain, hopefully rain water harvesting….and then mixing it with some pounded root!
you were the constant in the project, and will be a shame to see the ‘bowness’ name stop and not have a direct role in the project – tho hope some input will continue once ‘super mum’ has the time.
its has been a pleasure to have shared the first(ish) 15 months with you. the veranda chats, the tears, the laughter, the smiles, the big big big bula smiles, the many hours of work at the grand eastern, waking up to kesa and celli’s singing at 5am, salsa night (!), the numerous isa lei’s, the grog sessions, and everything else that defined vorovoro life in those first few months. (and of course, how can i forget your birthday, and the naming of the boat!)
has been a pleasure SJ. take care with dylan, and best wishes for the future…and wave to me in lautoka every now and again!
x
Best of luck SJ. It was great to work with you for my brief time in Fiji.
I’m sure you’ll still continue to play an important role in the future… and that you’ve made the right decision for now. Well done you. :-)
Ben, you have taught me a great deal vinaka. I’ve watched you demonstrated amazing levels of drive, passion and determination to lead Tribewanted to where it is today so I too am extremely grateful to you. Dont ever think twice about excepting my offer to help out if its ever need in the future.
Marama, without Tribewanted I wonder if we would have ever met but because of it I have a dear friend for life. You have been a rock to me through all the many highs and lows. Vinaka vaka levu, I look forward to introducing you to my son some day soon!
Kimbo, that list could go on and on but I have to mention the haribo and in fact all the debates we had over the goodies Kola and co used to bring… you always did get all the haribo ;-)hehe It was a pleasure to spend the time we did on the island together and watch you develop through your many roles… happy times… catch you on the mainland!
Sloggs, Vinaka, it was short but sweet… you have a great energy and I hope to see you back in Viti land some day soon.
X
naka va’a levu dina na veqaravi ne!
thanks so much for all you have done SJ, your input,advice, experience and how you dealt with all the difficult and occasionally tedious stuff off the island was massively appreciated and you will be missed hugely.
from a personal level it was amazing having you in the background to help, listen, have a laugh and even the odd game of scrabble!
enjoy the time with dylan but makes sure he’s aware that if he ever comes back here the rain isn’t quite as warm!
what a story you have from this adventure! brilliant! and good luck to you!
Having seen the utter pleasure you get from Dylan through your pics and one liners Sara-Jane it’s not at all surprising you don’t want to overload your life!! Thanks for sharing your new life as MUM!!
I’ve only been part of TW for a year now (it seems much much longer!) and you have always been visible one way or another so it will be sad initially to not have that.
Hopefully you will occasionally make a presence and there is always facebook to check out what’ happening in your life!!
SJ, I couldn’t let your leaving pass, without a big thank you for your helpful advice and patience prior to my visit to VV. Enjoy Dylan and life as a family.
Sad to see you go SJ, but I know you mean it when you say you’ll be there if we need you. You should be extremely proud of everything that Tribewanted has achieved, because you’ve played an integral role in this project right from the very start.
I’m really glad I had the opportunity to meet you on Vorovoro, and later work with you online. It’s been a real pleasure
It can’t be easy to walk away from your role when you’ve put so much into this project, but nothing’s more important than caring for Dylan, so you are making the right decision
Thanks for everything SJ and wishing you the best of luck! We will be a poorer tribe without you
Hi Sara-Jane – good on you for making the decision to simplify your life :) So many people of our generation want to have it all and do it all – sometimes you have to dedicate 100% to what you are doing instead of 30% to three different things :) Good luck with everything and thank you for the beautiful blog today – nicely written. Hannah
SJ we will miss you as you have done so much for the tribe, but what a great reason to be moving on. Wishing you many smiles and great memories as you get to rediscover the world through Dylan’s eyes. Cheers :)
Being a part of TW for as long as you have has probably prepared you quite well for mother hood. Because we all know how the project was very infantile when it started, but you and the others nurtured it well. It’s sad that you are leaving the project but Dylan is definitely the best reason for that, and I’m actually amazed you hadn’t left earlier. That just shows your commitment to something which will be great for Dylan to learn. All the best to you, Shane and of course Dylan; Ben is not going to find it easy to replace you.
Thank you Sara Jane.
Chris
Sara Jane Good luck, good life to you and your’n. I have a favorite memory on my exit boat trip to Labassa, when you reminded me about paying for other boat trips into town & scolded me post-haste to not put the remaining F$1 coin into your ‘organized’ purse. I love you in my memories of TribeWanted and wish you the best. Justin
SJ, one BIG MALAU BUS thank you!
You are such a lovely, kind, passionate person and we have been so lucky that we have been able to turn to you anytime, night or day. You definitely have been a rock to everyone throughout, vinaka vaka levu for being such a fantastic teacher listener, adviser, helper and friend…
We are all going to miss you hugely but understand that you have an incredible life adventure to continue! It’s wonderful to know you want to give your best to Dylan too and although I know it was a tough decision, it’s important to follow your instincts…and you will always be apart of Tribewanted!
Really can’t wait for you to bring your family to Vorovoro soon. What an exciting story to tell Dylan when he’s a little bit older! He’s a very lucky boy to have such an incredible mum :)
SJ
I feel honored and blessed to have met you! Thank you for taking such good care of Michele and I when we were on Vorovoro. Dylan is beautiful, just like you. Good luck in your new life as “mummy” and I hope our lives intertwine again. MK
Wow… what lovely, lovely comments, I am feeling slightly overwhelmed right now but thank you to you all for your very kind and generous words. I am extremely grateful to this project and all the special people I have met along the way.
SJ x
SJ, I won’t even say goodbye and good luck as I know you will be back on here and part of the project from a distance. Enjoy your times with Dylan. x
SJ, my big little Sis!
I will never forget sitting on the veranda with Ben, on Vorovoro before we had even launched and I told Ben that I wanted you to work for Tribewanted. I knew you would never let me down, you never did.
It is natural to commend those in more high profile roles in Tribewanted, because they are seen, these people, of course, have been vital. However, I have to say you have been a rock, sometimes hidden but always consistant and you have certainly been a strong foundation for me and many more!
Tribewanted is about achieveing dreams, goals and aspirations. Its crazy to think that if tribe members had not had initial belief in this project, right now, you would not be on an island with a beautiful man and beautiful boy by your side. So, as a proud uncle, I am personally grateful to all.
You are a fantastic Mum and an awesome sister. I cant wait to see you and meet baby Dylan very soon :-)
Sent with love x
SJ – time with children goes so quickly it’s really important to treasure it – am sure you will continue to be in contact with everyone. I loved our chats about family and life when I was there and I definitely plan to bring the boys to Vorovoro. I am glad I have those wonderful photos of you on the 2nd Birthday looking so beautiful, glowing with pregnancy (if a little hot). Lots of Love xxxxxxxxxxxx
SJ; I was very lucky enough to have met you,during the 2nd,Anniversary celebrations. Your calm,compassionate, caring manner instantly effects every onr you meet!
Tribe wanted has certainly benefitted from your professionalism, charisma & charm & this aura will remain with those still involved.
However it takes a ‘totally unselfish’ lady to realise that all the plates can’t successfully be kept in the air @ once. You have given TW an extremely firm foundation & it is equally important to do this for your son. Bringing him up will possibly be the hardest & yet most rewarding job. Don’t ever feel guilty for that, you are laying the foundation for his future;a most worthy & worthwhile job! Savour every second, it’s extremely precious. His life spans before you as a plain white sheet, which you can certainly influence with your personality & charisma; enjoy!
Just capture each day & delight him with all your wonderful memories of Vorovoro. It takes a decisive lady to know what they want; what a very lucky little boy he is! Enjoy!
You’ll be missed SJ, thanks for support, advise and insight over the past few months. Dylan’s a lucky fella to have a mum like you.
Well, it’s one hell of a promotion SJ…. you now have the most important (and hardest?) job in the world! Little Dylan is a lucky man, as are all of us tribe members – the project would be a different one now if it hadn’t been for all your efforts and input. Vinaka vaka levu. All good things for you, always. Sophie x
Thank you all so much for your lovely comments… going to miss my role even more having read them all ;-) but absolutely I will still be around and be involved with our lovely little tribe just not in the same capacity! So I will keep in contact with you all and hope to see some of your on Vorovoro one day soon x
Bula SJ, What can I say – seems like a long-time ago since we first started exchanging emails about this whole TW idea and so excited to hear about your NEW job!! He’s a very luck boy to have you as a mum. Thanks for chats on Vorovoro and online – it really was appreciated. To take care and don’t forget us all ;) xx
Congratulations!! what a beautiful son.
i saw you on the series but unfortunately didnt get to meet you in person when i visited vorovoro last year but would like to thank you for all your hard work & wish you wonerful times with Dylan x
Bula Sia SJ-
congrats on the new little one! So sad to see you go, the island and tribe won’t be the same without you. You were so very helpful to me when I was there and especially when I had to go to the hospital, I think I would have been lost if you had not been there. thank you for giving SO much of yourself to everyone in the tribe. Enjoy every minute with Dylan, bcause before you know it they are all grown up! (married my daughter off last yr). So even tho we are sad to see you go, we are happy for you and your family. Vinaka vaka levu
Bula Sia SJ, I too thankyou for your helpfulness, kindness and genuine respect for others with open ears and heart. Working on the project with so many personalities will have surely been the training ground required for motherhood…raising Dylan should be a doddle. See you around.. you’re welcome in Oz anytime. x
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